Hello, Hello? I might have posted that video in a previous post but I don’t care cause it’s fucking great. If you have 10 minutes in your day please view the whole thing and relish in how pathetic it is. Please never make a tape like this to a loved one.
Well, first things first, we continued our plow horse type movement through Week 8. Another 2-1 week on the Best Bets and was feeling good going into Sunday’s night game with a potential of going 3-0 but The Pack let us down. It brings our best bet record to a real sold 16-8 year to date. We did lose the parlay also with The Pack losing so that was a disappointment. We also lost in our survivor pool with Dallas bowing out like a bunch of cunts. More on that below. However, I have a real cheeky 3 team teaser that will be unleashed down below.
QUICK LEAGUE NOTES
This is something that needs to explained to me. How does a city like Jacksonville have an NFL team and a metropolis like Los Angeles have no NFL team. I know that LA fans are terrible and LA in general is terrible but I would think you would draw more overall plus you would be able to negotiate a better TV contract because your adding the second largest TV market to the pool. Do you know the ranking of the Jacksonville TV market. It’s 47th in the nation. Allow me to give you 3 other TV markets that are bigger than Jacksonville. Birmingham, AL. Norfolk-Newport News, VA. Greensboro-Winston Salem, NC. The league would theoretically be able to make more money if instead of the Jacksonville Jaguars they had the Norfolk Shitheads. If you don’t believe me than check out this link. (Side Note: you should believe anything you read on the internet, especially from a news quality site like this one.)
I would really love to know the reasoning. Have you ever been or driven through Jacksonville? It’s horrendous. Nothing about that city says “Hey lets put a football team here.” There has to be something more than meets the eye. If anyone who reads this is from Jacksonville or currently lives in Jacksonville then I’m sorry we cannot be friends or acquaintances any longer because you’re hometown is fucking brutal.
Speaking of things that are more than meets the eye, did anyone hear about the guy who wonder off during halftime from the Denver game last week. I have been absolutely fucking enthralled with this story. Luckily, they found the guy unharmed an astonishing 4 days later. He was found in Pueblo, CO 130 miles away. He supposedly hitchhiked down there. Do you know the reason he gave the cops? He said that he said he had his fill of football and that he likes to walk and wander, and he was looking for a warmer place. This guy is my fucking hero. He also told the cops he hadn’t watched TV so he didn’t know that people were looking for him. I really want to fly out to Denver or wherever the fuck this guy lives and just pick his brain on how to just not give a fuck about anything. The details are sketchy because this guy is the epitome of sketchy but the big break came from his a friend of his Ex-wife who said she picked him up at a Salvation Army and dropped hm at a hotel in Pueblo. Total Sketch but what an awesome fella!
This reminds me of a story about how Hal Verl missed the second half of an NFL game. Hal wasn’t as lucky as just to walk away from the game. I was rather taken into custody in football jail. Allow me to set the the scene for you. Flashback to October 2010 and halftime of the Giants – Bears showdown in NJ. It was a defensive struggle with the Giants leading 3-0. Jay Cutler had already been sacked 9 times and injured during the first half but the game was very much in doubt. Hal Verl got thirsty and was standing in line at the beer line during the end of halftime. At that time, you couldn’t buy beer after halftime. However, I had been in line for a while and there was no one behind me. The people in front of me were served and out of nowhere a security guard came flying up in his yellow jacket and got right in my face and said I couldn’t be served anymore. I replied nicely and said something to the effect that I had been waiting on line for a while and the people in front of me got beer and there is no one behind me. He then asked if I wanted to be a tough guy. I really didn’t know what that meant and I quickly realized that me thirst for beer was not going to be quenched. I replied to him that I didn’t want to be a tough guy but informed him I thought he was a cunt. He surprisingly didn’t like that and we exchanged a few more pleasantries and I was guided back towards our seats. From that point, it should have been over but I had other ideas. I had to go up a small stair case in the concourse and as I circled around on top of the stairs I saw the same security guard down on the floor below. I started screaming down at him, “Hey you in the yellow jacket, yeah you, YOU’RE A CUNT. YOU ARE A CUNT.” Boy was I proud of myself. Even though I didn’t get that beer I felt that I got the last word in. I started going back to the seats where I was grabbed by 2 gentlemen who informed me that I had violated the conduct policy in the stadium as I was screaming and cursing in front of children. I pleaded my case but knew I would not be returning to my seats. I figured that I would just be escorted outside where I could catch the game back at the tailgate spot. Instead, they brought me up to the very tippy top of the stadium in a large white room with no windows or TV’s. It was clear that I was in the drunk tank/stadium jail. They took my inside and told me to have a seat. (Funny side story: I actually sat with Andy Robestelli’s family in stadium jail who was also kicked out of the game because they got into an argument with people sitting next to them. Andy Robestelli’s was being honored at halftime of that game and they missed it.) They took my ID and told me they would let me go once they made sure I wasn’t some convict or anything. You could hear cheering of the stadium but you had no idea what was going on. The only thing that was clear was when the Giants later scored a touchdown. They were bringing people in and letting people go basically the entire time I was there. I figured that I would be let go but I must have pissed off the wrong security guard as I was one of the last ones to be released after the game had ended. The only people that were left we ones that basically couldn’t walk out because they were too drunk. I learned a few lessons that day. #1 Just sneak a flask into the stadium so you don’t have to worry about beer timelines. #2 Don’t call security guards cunts. Find a better word. #3 Andy Robestilli’s niece was kind of a wouldn’t.
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Eric the Midget passed away a few weeks back which was sad news. This is a long clip but the first few minutes are pretty great. Eric tries to explain why he is not a wack packer. I don’t get to listen to Howard anymore but I really miss it and will miss Eric the Actor.
MY WEEKLY FANTASY LINEUP (SALARY CAP 60K)
Good news, bad news in this section. I was actually able to win my normal head to head but I also engaged in another one with a reader of the site who will remain nameless and got beat pretty good. That’s something I wanted to bring up, if anyone wants to challenge me in a head to head on Fan Duel my username is vgeorge19 and I will take on all challengers. For this week, I’m going pretty heavy on the Indy-Giants game which I would think should be high scoring.
QB E Manning $7600
RB L Miller $7300
RB A Bradshaw $7500
WR T Hilton $8100
WR R Randle $6400
WR S Smith $7200
TE V David $5700
K B Mcmanus $4600
D Cincy $5600
SURVIVOR POOL PICK OF THE WEEK
I broke a #1 rule I was trying to follow and it ended up killing me. There were too many things pointing to Dallas not being the pick last week and I didn’t listen to myself. #1 rule I tried to never pick division games. There is just too much familiarity that those games are tough to predict. Secondly, if you really look at who Dallas beat, the only impressive win out of the 6 was beating at Seattle. That was impressive not because Seatlle is a good team but nobody wins in Seattle. The remaining teams they beat are either garbage or barely mediocre. The pick last week was Miami and I seriously considered them but failed to pull the trigger. So there are only 19 people left in the pool with 19 losing on Dallas. I guess the only saving grace was watching Dallas lose and Romo getting hurt was at a minimum fun to watch. I’ll keep picking to see if I can make it to the end of the pool. This week’s picks Cincinnati.
HAL’S WEEK 9 PICKS
** – Bonus 3 Team Teaser – 6 points / Bengals -5.5, KC -4.5, Arizona +9
WEEK 8 GAMES PLOW HORSE REVIEW
Week 8 Results 7-8
YTD Results 60-59
Week 8 Best Bets 2-1
Best Bets YTD 16-8
Parlays YTD 1-1
Teasers YTD 1-0
Quote of the Week
I like to see the good in a bad situation. Whenever I run into a spiderweb I just pretend I crossed the finish line of a race I didn’t know I entered. Hard to throw up from fear when you are too busy being a fucking champion.