I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday. My Christmas was good but a Christmas that falls on a Wednesday is kinda gay. I didn’t take anytime off from work so having to come back to work after Xmas is always terrible plus it’s going to happen again next week with New Years day. You don’t get to piggyback that weekend when it falls on a Wednesday or have one of those meaningless Fridays or Mondays . Anyway, I missed out on posting anything the last few weeks but was hoping to find some time to get one in before the end of the regular season. I hope to continue everything through the playoffs.
QUICK LEAGUE NOTES
Speaking of playoffs, there is a bunch of jockeying taking place in this weekend’s games with playoff seeds and berths all on the line. There are 2 winner take all games with the Cowboys/Eagles and Warehouses/Pack games. There are quite a few terrible games but all in all it’s a decent last week of the season. It’s amazing how fast these season go by now. It feels like it just started.
A few weeks back I had something to say about Varsity Blues. This week’s rant is also about one of my favorite movies of yesteryear. Having a very pregnant wife leads to many hours of tv watching. Early on one morning, I stumbled upon Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead from basically the beginning. A really great early 90’s movie that I always liked. At first, my only complaint on this movie was that they really don’t doll up Christina Applegate during her peak years as they should have. But that is neither here nor there. As the movie is playing out I noticed a huge flaw in the plot line that I was shocked I never noticed before. Allow me to explain. For those of you who have seen this movie you will know what I am talking about. If you haven’t seen this movie just kill yourself. I’m not going to get into the whole story line as it’s not necessary but as the movie progress, Sue Ellen Crandell is working as an Executive Administrative Assistant at GAW (General Apparel West) because she needs money for her brothers and sisters because the babysitter died and they disposed of her body that had their summer time money on her. Since she is a high school student she has no office skills for this position. The receptionist at GAW is Carolyn and she is very jealous of Sue Ellen because she wanted the executive admin assistant job. Now just follow me here for a second. Carolyn’s brother, Bryan, is a Clown Dog worker and also the love interest of Sue Ellen. At one point Bryan is actually in the office talking to his sister about, Sue Ellen, cause he thinks she seeing another guy. Sue Ellen then appears walking towards where Carolyn and Bryan are talking. She stops in her tracks when she sees them and Carolyn says “Can I help you Sue Ellen?” Sue Ellen then just scampers off. Bryan lazily turns his head after a few seconds just after Sue Ellen gets out of sight. This is where I call bullshit on the writers of this movie. If you are Bryan and you are there complaining to your sister about your girlfriend who’s name is Sue Ellen and one of your sister’s co workers name is Sue Ellen wouldn’t you question that to your sister? Since it’s such an unusually name would you say, “You work with a Sue Ellen?” Also wouldn’t you turn your head much faster? If you knew someone was named Sue Ellen standing right behind you and you are there complaining to your sister about your girlfriend Sue Ellen wouldn’t you immediately swing your head around? Wouldn’t you think to yourself maybe that’s the same Sue Ellen. At a minimum, you would have to ask your sister to describe the Sue Ellen that she works with. Shockingly, none of this ever comes up. This got me really worked up and I started shouting at the TV, “How can you not ask these questions” I slowly was able to calm myself down as I realized I was in my boxer shorts at 6:45 am on a Saturday morning shouting at the TV about a movie that was made in 1991 with the title of “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead.” Needless to say, I laid there in silence for the next 2 hours questioning my existence. I’m a winner.
YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE WEEK
The quality on this I wish was better but this happened almost 10 years ago this month. They should give Joe Willie his own reality show. There are so many great things on here. His initial kiss move around the 50 second mark. His scream at the end. Or his compliments of Chad Pennington.
STAND UP COMEDY CLIP OF THE WEEK
The best and the worst ventriloquist in the business.
LOWLY RANKED FANTASY PLAYER THAT WILL EXCEL THIS WEEK
Matt Cassel @ DET
Ranked as low as #22 QB
I basically feel that since the Lions have been eliminated they will pack it in and play a bad game because they hate their coach who is about to get fired.
22-30 250 YDS 2 TD 0 INT
WEEK 17 GAMES
Have to be careful this week cause of teams either not playing to win or just not caring especially in the 4pm games where the pictures start to become more clear on who’s in and who’s out or how seedings are going to play out.
BAL @ CIN (-6.5)
Bengals 28 Raven 20, Pick Bengals
WAS @ NYG (-3.5)
Gmen 20 Redskins 17, Pick Skins
HOU @ TEN (-7.5)
Titans 20 Texans 14, Pick Texans
JAC @ IND (-11.5)
Colts 27 Jags 20, Pick Jags
NYJ @ MIA (-6.5)
Fins 24 Jets 14, Pick Fins
CAR @ ATL (+6.5)
Falcons 21 Panthers 20, Pick Falcons (Here is my shocker pick)
DET @ MIN (-3.5)
Vikes 24 Lions 20, Pick Vikes
CLE @ PIT (-7.5)
Steelers 28 Browns 20, Pick Steelers
STL @ SEA (-10.5)
Seahawks 30 Rams 10, Pick Seahawks
GB @ CHI (-3.5)
Sorry Bears fans, I think they fall short at home
Pack 24 Bears 23, Pick Pack
SF @ ARI (+1.5)
Cards 24 9ers 23, Pick Cards
DEN @ OAK (+12.5)
Broncos 35 Raiders 14, Pick Broncos
BUF @ NE (-9.5)
Pats 28 Bills 20, Pick Bills
TB @ NO (-12.5)
Saints 31 Bucs 20, Pick Bucs
KC @ SD (-9.5)
This one is almost impossible to call as the Chefs are locked into the 5 seed. I absolutely hate the idea of resting players. It rarely works. I also have the Chargers with the biggest passion for some reason.
Chargers 24 Chefs 17, Pick Chefs
PHI @ DAL (+6.5)
Part of me wants to pick Dallas as I would think the whole world is on Philly just to go the contrarian way but I just can’t.
Eagles 31 Cowboys 23, Pick Eagles
LAST WEEK & YTD RESULTS
Week 14 ATS Record 6-9
Season ATS Record 70-73
At first I thought an under .500 record is pretty bad. But looking at all the so called “experts” on Sportsline, there is only 1 guy out of 8 who is over .500 and he is only 1 game over .500. It’s been a tough year calling lines.
Week 14 SU Record 11-4
Season SU Record 92-50-1
Family Guy Quote
If you have sex with her, you give her all the power, and if you don’t have sex with her, you’re gay. — Glen Quagmire