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Monthly Archives: January 2013

asterisk

Asterisk. Asterisk.  Asterisk.

The fatal flaw of this blog was exposed this past week in a big way.  Since I post this before the weekend and normally type everything up midweek, I dont have the most up to date info.  Things that happen a few days before the game I can’t account for.  In hindsight, if I had know that Joe Webb would have been the starting QB for the vikes and Ray Lewis was coming back for the Ravens, I would haven’t have picked the way I did.  Even though Christian Ponder isnt great, he’s a  far cry from Joe Webb.   I wouldn’t have changed my bet for Ray Lewis’ physical contribution on the field but more of the emotional lift  he must have gave his teammates who didn’t want to screw up his last game in front of the home crowd.   With that being said, I will count the losses against my record but will bitch and moan while doing it because I’m a stand up chap.

In other local news, I recently got into a hilarious road rage incident that luckily didn’t escalate into murder.    Let me preface this by saying that people in South Florida have to be some of the worst drivers on the planet.  This also goes along with all most all people in South Florida are complete TRASH.  White trash, Black trash, Hispanic trash.  Its everyone.  Broward and Miami Dade county are basically 2 big trash containers holding the worlds garbage which likes warm weather.     Let me explain the scene.  I’m at a stop sign trying to make a left onto a very busy streeet.  One of those you need to clear 3 lanes of traffic in one direction and then having to account for 3 more lanes in the other direction.  There is no where for me to go with cars coming from both direction.  Some douche bag,  let’s call him “Felipe”, starts beeping his horn which infuriates me to no end.   I was so pissed he was beeping I edge myself into the middle of the road once the one way was clear.  However, now Im stuck in the middle of a 6 lane highway waiting for the other side to clear.  So I did as any blue blooded American would do.  As I was in the road waiting for the traffic to clear.  I roll down the window and gave him about 5 or 6 middle fingers and FU’s.     After about 30 seconds of being in the middle of a major street the traffic clears and I’m able to proceed the way I was going.   Well, Felipe didn’t take to kindly to my reaction and I see him basically do a illegal turn in my rear view mirror (cause he was going in the other direction)  and he gets behind my car.  I see him take his seat belt off and roar up to my drivers side as I am now stuck at a red light.   Lets just say we exchanged pleasantries.  After about 30 seconds of going back and forth he tries to slap me as he is standing outside my drivers side door and I’m still seated in my car.  He barely gets anyone near me and tries a second time with no success.   Now I have no desire to get into a fight in the middle of the street with some crazy puerto rican but this guy just tried to slap me twice.  So i tried one last thing to end this and called him a fat cunt.  He proceeds to tell me he’s going to get his gun.  I replied with “go get your gun you fat cunt.”    Now I still cant go anywhere because all red lights in South Florida are a minimum 5 wait.    He goes back to his car and opens the door and starts jawing with his old lady who was in the passenger seat the whole time.  She must have said something to him because he got back in his car and did another illegal turn and went back the way he came.    Just a nice normal Saturday afternoon in the armpit of America, albeit it was 80 degrees and sunny out in January.

FOR MY FELLOW BASEBALL FANS:

I totally understand the steroid era and everything but do baseball writers remember anything that happened prior to 1998.   Now I hate both of these guys on as individuals but Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens were the best players at their positions before and after that time.  Both Bonds and Clemens had great years prior to the Steriod Era.  Go back and look at their stats.  Bonds was a perennial 30/30 guy from 1987-95.  During that time he won 5 gold gloves and 3 MVP’s.      Clemens from 1986-92 had over 200 strike outs each year, never won less than 17 games (winning more than 20 games 3 times) and only had 1 year with an ERA over 3.00 and that was 3.13.  Oh and he also won 3 cy youngs.  Mike Piazza is another guy who deserves to be in.   Its fucking stupid.

I can understand keeping a guys like Sosa or McGwire out because they weren’t great players all around and all they did was hit home runs.

Wild Card  review

I mentioned it above and it was a real gay shit kicker.   Minus $100

I’m sick and tired of analyzing losing picks so this will be real short and sweet.

Wildcard Weekend Picks

1 Winner

Green Bay +2.5 at San Fran +110

This one is real simple for me.  Aaron Rodgers vs Colin Kapernick.  I’ll take Rodgers.

PREDICTION: GB 28-23

Bet $50 to win $55.50

1 Parlay

I’m sticking with my theory that Baltimore sucks.  Houston is playing with house money.  They are just happy to be there.

DEN -9.5 vs BAL -110

NE -8.5 vs HOU -110

PREDICTIONS:  DEN 28-14, NE 38-24

BET $30 to Win $79.34

TOTAL WILDCARD  BETS: $80 to win $134.34

YEAR TO DATE REVIEW

YTD PROFIT/LOSS: (-172.71) (I still got time)

1 WINNER % (2-5 – 28.5%)

1 PARLAY % (3-4 – 42.8%)

1 TEASER % (1-5–16%)

MY BLUE HEAVEN QUOTE OF THE WEEK – This week’s:

“Ehh, she’s not my type. I like ’em… I dunno, kinda dirty or something..”

MoscowMule

We are back baby and just in time for the playoffs.    It’s been a wild few weeks and a crazy year in the NFL.   The story lines are endless, rookie quarterbacks carrying their teams into the playoffs, AP looking unbelievable, Peyton Manning back to his old self.  This is why the NFL is the best thing going even though they are trying to pussify the game.

Sorry we missed week 17 but I hope everyone had a great holiday and new year.  I had a good one myself.   Hung out with the fam, played some golf, won my fantasy football league, ate a ton and drank even more.  I don’t know about you but drinking is just the tits.  Everything I enjoy doing involves drinking.   Now, all of these activities can be done without drinking but are so much better while drinking.  The only thing I don’t do while drinking is working.  Believe you me, if there was a way I could find a way to work and drink at the same time without getting caught or without it affecting me getting paid,  I would do it without blinking an eye.    Some might say “You are killing your body” or “Your liver is probably dead” or “Dont touch me, I’m sleeping”.  My response to those people is “Have you ever had a Moscow mule in a copper mug before?”  I have and they are fantastic.  It is quintessential drinking.  Drinking something that is made too strong but stays cold all the time because of the mug and tastes delicious.   Highly recommend from this guy.

FOR MY FELLOW GIANTS FANS:

I’ve added this one time segment as a way to vent to my fellow Giants fans as we watched our team fall short of replicating last years run.  I’ve thought about it and I think it comes down to 3 simple reasons why they couldn’t get over the hump and into the playoffs.    The first reason is the mental aspect.  They were not a very mentally strong team and believed that since they played best when their backs were against the wall they could just flip on that switch.  This obviously doesn’t work in the NFL.  The Giants don’t play their best when their backs are against the wall, they actually play their best when no one thinks they can win.  Against the Falcons and Ravens, I heard plenty of commentators and writers saying the Giants would win.  They love to play that us against the world card and you can’t play that card when you are defending super bowl champion.  The second reason was the offense depending on the big play too much.  Last year they completed many more big plays and this year they simply did not.   This probably has to do with Nicks being hurt the entire year so it allowed defenses to take away the deep ball.  An inconsistent running game, a down year for Eli and a tough schedule didn’t help.   It’s tough to change an offensive philosophy during the season as they are a high risk high reward offense but adjustments probably could have been made.  The last reason was on the defensive side of the ball.  Just as the offense relied on the big play too often, the defense relied on the front four solely getting to the quarterback.    This obviously didn’t happen with the frequency as it did last year which left an exposed secondary to giving up big plays.   They ended up as the 31st ranked defense and in the bottom half in sacks.  That wasn’t going to get it done in the playoffs anyway.

Lastly, as a Giants fan I’ve come to grips that we will never be the Patriots or the old Colts winning double digit games every year and always being in the playoffs.  Eli will never be his brother or Tom Brady in terms of consistency.    As long as Coughlin and Eli are there it will be a team of great inconsistency.    They have been together now since 2004 and that has been their hallmark.    However,  as bad as they can look for weeks at anytime they also can turn it around for a 6 week stretch to play remarkable football and that’s all it takes in today’s NFL.  Get into the tournament and usually the hot team wins.   I have the faith in Eli, Coughlin and the front office to make one more run before all is said and done.

Week 16 review

With all of the distractions with the holidays I wasn’t able to get time to post Week 17 picks.  I was able to last minute get in the Week 16 picks and believe it or not we broke exactly even.  We hit a parlay with the Colt and Saints winning $75.   However, we lost on San Fran getting killed in Seattle and hit 2 of 3 on another fucking teaser so those were a loss of $75 combined.  In week 15 we had a net loss of $5 so we stand at a loss of ($72.71) for the year.  Not great by any stretch of the imagination but when you factor in doing a teaser every week its not brutal.  My goal was to basically keep my head above water and we still have a chance.    My parlays have exceed my expectations but the straight up winners and teasers have been a large disappointment.    We still got time to get positive and now we get down and dirty with probably one of the most wide open playoff brackets we’ve had in a long time.    Since there are not many games to choose from I think I’m going to eliminate the teaser for the playoffs so we will just be going with winners and parlays.

Wildcard Weekend Picks

1 Winner

Washington +2.5 vs Seattle +105

Very Interesting game here with 2 rookie quarterbacks both playing a much higher level than anyone could ever have expected.   I honestly am basing this on only one thing.  I think Pete Carroll is one of the biggest douches in the game.  I just don’t like him.  I think it stems from the replacement ref game when he was celebrating like a kid at Christmas when he knew damn well they stole that game and then didn’t even bother taking the high road.   I’m also a fan of Washington at home with Seattle having to come across the country.

PREDICTION: WAS 28-23

Bet $50 to win $52.50

2 Parlays

Parlay #1 The lines seem a little absurd this week.  I feel like if these games were played on any other week the lines would look much different.   I’m going to do 2 parlays instead of a teaser.   I really like the underdogs this week.   I think either Vegas knows these games are rigged or they been blowing too many lines in the bathroom.  Baltimore? +7.5?  Fuck off, have you seen them in the playoffs the last few years.  I have and they weren’t very impressive the entire year.    I think Green Bay will do everything in its power to stop AP but I don’t think that everything in its power is enough.  The only thing that sucks is its huge Vig on these teams which hurts the payout but makes me think I’m on to something.

Indy +7.5 at BAL -135  (Chuck Strong)

MIN +8.5 at GB -125

PREDICTIONS:  INDY 24-23, GB 27-21

BET $30 to Win $64.00

Parlay #2 We’ll do a smaller one on the other game.  Again, the lines seem off.  I think Cincy is a team that can get after the Texans O.  I’m not too confident though.  The Texans haven’t looked good in weeks and maybe they can turn it back on but I’ve been impressed with this Cincy team.

Cincy +4.5 -110 &

Under 43.5  -110

PREDICTION:  HOU 21-20

BET $20 to Win $52.90

TOTAL WILDCARD  BETS: $100 to win $169.40

YEAR TO DATE REVIEW

YTD PROFIT/LOSS: (-72.71) (There’s still a few weeks left to get back to positive)

1 WINNER % (2-4 – 33%)

1 PARLAY % (3-3 – 50%)

1 TEASER % (1-5–16%)

MY BLUE HEAVEN QUOTE OF THE WEEK – This week’s:

“It’s not tipping I believe in. It’s overtipping.”