WEEK 12 RUNDOWN

Hope everyone had a healthy and happy holiday.  I gorged myself as per usual and it was fantastic.  I did stumble upon a certain dessert that I didn’t know existed but am very happy that it does.  We were at Whole Foods looking for desserts (side note: I bought an entire separate pumpkin pie from there for myself not counting the pumpkin pie that was being served at the dinner) and went to the display and saw this concoction called Cannoli Cake.  It’s good as shit and I recommend everyone run down to their nearest Whole Foods and grab one.  It’s got a little cannoli on the top and the outer part is coated with cannoli crumbles.   I would recommend it for any occasion.  Plus if you bring it over to someones house you’ll look extra special cause you shop at whole foods like a fucking aristocrat.   I swear to Christ I could talk about cake and pie for another 30 minutes but lets review a nice and successful Week 12:

We were super close to going perfect with Seattle losing a late lead as the Fins were able to put together a 4th quarter surge.   The sprinklers went off in the middle of that game so I will blame that for ruining the perfect week.   Speaking of the Dolphins, I was watching Ace Ventura on TBS or some garbage channel the other day having a nice chuckle and started thinking they should have an actual Dolphin as a mascot like Snowflake from the movie.  They could keep its tank in the corner of the stadium and they could teach that fucking fish to kick field goals like the movie dolphin does.   I would think more people who show up to the games just the watch the Dolphin to see how it did on its kicks.  Bodog or some site would probably start making a line on over/under kicks made by the Dolphin or Dan Carpenter.

With that said, all in all a decent week hitting another Indy & NE over parlay and hitting the teaser for the first time.

Lose $50 on Seattle -3.5 vs MIA  (24-21)

WIN $97.74 on Indy -3½ vs Buffalo and NE/NYJ over 48.5 (20-13 & 49-18)

WIN $45 on Washington +9½  vs Cowboys, Broncos -4.5  vs  Chiefs,  Falcons +6½  vs  Bucs  (38-31, 17-9, 24-23)

Week 11 Gain $92.74



Detroit Lions -4.5 vs Indianapolis Colts -110

The Lions got pretty hosed on that game on Thanksgiving day against the Texans.  The NFL has some of the dumbest rules with the way they use replay.   If a coach throws the challenge flag on a play where its an automatic review it negates the review and you get a penalty.  Who thought of that rule and then who would say after hearing that rule “Yeah that sounds like a pretty legit rule to implement”?  You have a mutli million dollar camera/tv system in place to review plays just like this but if you throw a little red flag on the field you not allowed to use it.  Keep up the good work competition committee.


Bet $55 to win $50.00


I’m not in love with many of the lines because this time of year its so tough to gauge what your going to get from most teams.   They are all so up and down week to week.  It seems like there is a new best team in the league/conference every week.    You also don’t really know which teams have given up yet cause there are many teams still in contention.    For example, the Giants come out and beat GB pretty handily but would it surprise anyone if they lose to Washington or GB coming back and beating up Minnesota.    I’d rather fucks with some totals as they are much more transparent.  I’m sticking with the NE over because its been the best bet in the league all year and I prefer to beating something to death so it can come back and bite me in the ass.   It’s similar to playing the terrible game of roulette.   The number I play always is 19 and everything around it.   I’ll proceed to scan the entire casino floor looking at the monitors trying to find a table where 19 has come out like that’s cracking some sort of secret fucking code.  I’ll then proceed to lose 75 spins in a row thinking that its due to come out while all the other tables are ringing up 19’s like its their job.   However, NE is 9-2 in overs and in some games they have covered the total by themselves.   I didn’t realize but TB is 8-3 in overs and DEN is 7-4 so I’m just playing the averages there.

NE/MIA Over 50.5  -110

DEN/TB Over 49½  -110


BET $30 to Win $79.34

1 TEASER (using 6.5 points this week)

These teasers really jumped off the page for me this week and they were the first games I picked so in other words they are doomed from the start.   I see a shootout in the Saints/Falcons game, GB coming back to life after a very bad performance Sunday night and Bears/Seahawks just needs to get over 30.5 which has to happen right?

Saints/Falcons over 48.5

Green Bay -2.5 vs Vikings

Bears/Seahawks over 30.5

PREDICTIONS: Falcons win 35-31, GB wins by 8, Bears win 21-14

BET $30.00 To Win $45.00

TOTAL WEEK 13 BETS: $115 to win $174.34



1 WINNER % (2-1 – 66%)

1 PARLAY % (2-1 – 66%)

1 TEASER % (1-2 – 33%)

The Powerball is up to $550 million for tonight’s drawing.   If you get a ticket from reading this then I’m entitled to half of the winnings.

  1. Frenchy Puchtopek said:

    You are a degenerate

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